Director: Deon Taylor
Writers: Michael J. Pagan, Deon Taylor & Diana Erwin
Released: 2010
Labels: Gore|Slasher|2010's
A group of High School students become the focus of a technology hating serial killer when they choose not to forward his chain-letter.
Chain Letter is one of those horror films in which we see a series of gruesome deaths strung together with some loose storytelling. The person responsible for the murder spree here is a serial killer that hates technology and those that use it (dunno why). That's all we are told really. It would have been interesting to explore the killer's motives but we are not given the oppurtunity because the film-makers simply want to display their best array of long, protracted killings using (yup, you guessed it)....CHAINS.
Nothing is explored here, all the characters are left narrow and one dimensional, including the killer. There is no coherency in the storytelling. It is hinted that the killer is working with others in the movie, but it's not really revealed one way or the other and just moving the story along one kill at a time becomes a bit pedestrian after a while. The finale is simply a repeat of the opening scenes of the movie, spoiling any potential surprise, and it all seems a little confused at the end (much like the viewer will be).
You get the feeling that this movie is attempting to launch a franchise like "Final Destination" or "Scream" but the atmosphere of the film is overwhelmingly dark and cynical and certainly does not leave you eager to see more.
Director: Marty Weiss
Writer: Anthony Jaswinski
Released: 2008
Labels: Slasher|2000's
A group of young executives go on a team building weekend for some paint balling in the woods. They inadvertently stumble into a territory owned by a strange religious cult that protect their privacy at all costs.
"Backwoods" - It was a totally baffling experience watching this derivative pile of nonsense. Not only have the film-makers put together a poorly constructed collection of cliches and copied already tired ideas, they have managed to do so with such an incredible flair for getting it wrong that it goes so far beyond being a bad-but-funny movie that it induces frustration, and at times rage, at their ineptitude.
The movie starts with the obligatory early kill to introduce the slasher... oh dear, it's yet another inbred "family" with the obligatory "Leatherface-a-like" hulking son. Then we meet our "heroes" and ALL these young execs are such hateful characters with no redeeming features that you can't wait for the killing to start, but you're gonna have to, because first we have about 30 minutes of these idiots readying themselves for the paint-balling and camping, including a stop at a store/bar run by a hillbilly type and frequented by a couple of bikers that were supposed to be mean and scary (for no apparent reason) but just looked like a couple of perfumed wrestlers.
There is the introduction of a relationship back-story with a couple of the characters but you won't care, and neither did the writers it seems because it remains totally ignored from that point on. Then we have some camping and swimming to watch. Then the paint-ball "action" starts, one of the teams is given bright blue camouflage fatigues to wear.....IN THE WOODS!!! (the term "woods" is used lightly, it looks more like a recreational park with well maintained pathways used for hiking or perhaps bicycling).
A deserted farmhouse is discovered (yawn) it's not particularly creepy or scary but someone still says "what is this place?" as if they were looking at a funfair made from animal parts and Lego, (this reaction is to remind the viewer that it's supposed to be a scary movie). Finally the crazy killer family arrive and do a bit of killing and kidnapping to paintball Team A (oddly it's the team in the green camo that gets their attention first). Team B (the more annoying of the two teams) hear the screams, grab their trusty paint guns (yup) and run to help. This is where the film stops being a bad slasher-family-in-the-woods movie and becomes plain incomprehensible.
The "family" are in fact religious cult / hillbilly / underground dwelling / drug manufacturing / inbred mutants living on ex-military land, who think intruders are agents from the government. Not only that but they want the girls to breed with (dunno why). The film sets itself up like a torture pic for a while with team-whatever put in cages but nothing much comes of that either, in fact the most brutal thing that goes on down there is a killing that involves a jailer confiscating a captives inhaler during an asthma attack so he suffocates (barbaric!).
There really is no gore or horror to speak of. The heroes' escape is lengthy and dull and most of the time they seem to get no further than just behind the tree outside the front door. All the (dull) deaths that follow are either down to the idiot's own stupidity or are ridiculous acts of selfless blaze-of-glory heroic bullsh**. There is nothing new or exciting here at all. Rent one of the related picks shown at the bottom of this page and avoid this movie at all costs.
Backwoods tagline is "Nature has a Dark Side"..... yeah? well so do my butt cheeks but at least I have the decency not to call them entertainment and show them to the general public.
Director: Adam Green
Writer: Adam Green
Released: 2006
Labels: Gore|Slasher|2000's|Comedy
A group of unwitting tourists take a boat trip into the steamy Louisiana bayou and find themselves being stalked by a mutated swamp dweller intent on bloody murder.
Hatchet, as its tagline suggests, is indeed "old school American horror", so old school in fact that there isn't a single original bone in its dismembered body. Don't let that dissuade you from giving it a view though as it has enough decent humor and deliciously gory moments to keep any fan of the slasher genre amused, from its tongue-in-cheek nod to all that it inspired it (note the cameos from Robert Englund and Tony Todd), down to a really well crafted screen monster Victor Crowley (played by slasher veteran Kane Hodder).
The practical SFX are good and gory with some excellent artistic license taken with how a human body can come apart. The low-budget sets and lower-budget acting really only add to the B-movie fun of it.
Victor Crowley isn't going to rank with slasher icons like Jason Vorhees or Michael Myers but given time and a few more dodgy sequels (Hatcher 3 is due out 2012) his horribly disfigured face will become enjoyably familiar among even the most casual horror fans.
Director: Christopher Smith
Writers: Christopher Smith
Released: 2004
Labels: Gore|Slasher|2000's
The network of sewage and rail tunnels under the city of London are home to a terrifying being, one that stalks and kills anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves in his hunting grounds. Kate is one such unlucky soul, having missed the last train late at night and finding herself locked in the underground station. She must try to find a different route out if she's to survive the night....
With its deserted underground setting and brutal violence Creep is genuinely ... well ... er ... creepy. However, it doesn't set the screen alight with anything new for the viewer.
The films first half offers us the thrill of not knowing what is carrying out these killings in the tunnels or when it will strike next, this makes you wonder if it is man or beast or if there is a lone killer or many hands at work. We are introduced to our heroine Kate and assorted (doomed) cast members and the atmosphere of the underground system, quiet and deserted, certainly is unnerving.
Just when you are starting to get annoyed with the trails of blood, running through tunnels and off-screen killings it's time to meet the murderer, which we do in a sudden, lingering close-up. Our psycho is of the mutant-human kind, (think ''Wrong Turn'' or ''The Hills Have Eyes'') and rather horrid he looks too! Sean Harris does a great job portraying the simple yet sadistic ''Craig'' through all that SFX make-up to the point of almost making you feel sorry for him when you realize he is a product of some (presumably illegal) medical experiments that took place in a subterranean surgery.
You never feel sorry for ''Kate'' though, partly because of her shallow and unlikable personality and partly because of Franka Potente's lack-lustre performance and unstable accent, so at the end, you are left feeling quite pleased about her comeuppance.
There is plenty of nasty bloody scenes and a good amount of scares and creepy moments, but as a whole the film lacks either the spark or the extremes to stick with you long-term.
