Director: Billy O'Brien
Writer: Billy O'Brien
Released: 2005
Labels: Thriller|Creature|2000's
Bovine genetic experiments at a desolate farm leads to cows with mutated offspring. The result bears a life form with razor sharp teeth and a penchant for burrowing into flesh in order to incubate and feed. Only the handful of people on the farm can stop this nightmarish creature spreading into the outside world.
The premise for "Isolation" sounds laughable, mutant killer cow fetuses, but in actual fact the filmmakers have produced a credible horror and made a comment on modern science practices to boot. The completely run-down desolate farm is the perfect setting for a suspenseful horror movie and the quiet background noises of the wind, rain and machinery are quite unsettling. The film builds slowly at first but gains momentum when we first catch sight of the creatures in question. Some good use of mechanical effects here and much like "The Thing" (which this film has a lot in common) these effects add to the realism, CGI just wouldn't work in this instance.
There are only seven actors in the whole film (not including the cows) but the necessary range of stock characters is well-catered for including the obligatory "mad" scientist. There is plenty of body-horror to go with the unending tension, a lengthy and well-constructed finale with plenty of hide and seek action and a decent (albeit obvious) twist in the tale.
This film fulfills its potential and although it treads a well-worn path it does so with a good breath of fresh country air.
Director: Michael Dougherty
Writer: Michael Dougherty
Released: 2007
Labels: Supernatural|Chiller|2000's
An interwoven collection of Halloween stories featuring a murderous high school principal, a virginal college girl looking for Mr. Right, teen pranksters taking a joke too far and a grumpy recluse, along with a neighboring couple, being visited by a zealous trick-or-treater.
"Trick 'r Treat" pays homage to many horror flicks from the 1980's, not least the anthology movies like "Creepshow" or "Twighlight Zone: The Movie," but unlike those movies the stories and timeline here are beautifully interwoven, reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction." The comic book feel (lovingly lifted from EC comics "Tales from the Crypt" series from the 1950's) along with the small-town setting, gives this a charm rarely seen in modern horror. All the tales have enjoyably dark and sinister twists and reveals that make sure the movie doesn't stray into cheesy sentimentality and although it isn't particularly scary or overly gruesome it's definitely not one for the kids.
All the actors put in good performances, most notably Dylan Baker's turn as the quietly psychotic Steven. The costume design is inspired, particularly the creepy school bus children's make-and-mend Halloween outfits and the impish Sam (future horror icon!). Also the set design and cinematography work perfectly to ensure each shot looks like an expertly drawn panel from the afore-mentioned comics.
This really is one to own and enjoy every Halloween and, despite it being mishandled upon release and receiving little attention, we are sure that it is destined to become a seasonal classic.
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Writers: Robert Kurtzman (story), Quentin Tarantino (screenplay)
Released: 1996
Labels: Vampire|1990's|Thriller
On the run criminal brothers Seth and Richard Gecko take a vacationing family hostage on their way to the Mexican border. Once safely across, they hole up at a bar for the night and insist that the family wait with them. Things take an unexpected turn as the group and their fellow patrons find themselves on the bar menu and fighting for their lives, as all the working strippers, bar staff and even the house band turn into vampires.
"From Dusk Til Dawn" is clearly defined by its two halves, first is the escape from the US by the two brothers. The direction of Rodriguez and the pen of Tarantino are clear to see - it's slick, witty stuff with smart-assed dialogue and some trademark gunplay and explosions thrown in for good measure. George Clooney is excellent as Seth in this early film role and really steals the show for much of it.
The film's second half, inside the bar, shifts up a gear - the wit and dialogue remain but the action gets a whole lot crazier. The battle with the Vamps is messy, chaotic and relentless as if Evil Dead era Sam Raimi were given this section to play with. The Vampires look great, they beef up, become all gnarly and scaly and look more monsterfied than the usual pasty-faced romantics that we see nowadays. There's a really imaginitive use of the plentiful SFX with some inventive and often hilarious deaths of both human and vamp (watch out for the clever range of weaponry the heroes come up with). Expect solid, safe performances from the likes of Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis and Tarantino himself. Also noteworthy are appearances from Salma Hayek, Tom Savini and Rodriguez favorites Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo.
It does look a little tired around the edges at times, particularly the dated CGI but it has such an energy that it still remains an exhilarating watch.
Director: Lawrence Kasdan
Writers: Stephen King (novel), Lawrence Kasdan & William Goldman
Released: 2003
Labels: Thriller|2000's|Supernatural
Four long-time friends with a mysterious history discover that the remote area in which they are vacationing is being plagued in an unusual fashion by parasitic aliens. They find that it is no coincidence that these events center around them and must re-connect with friends from the past in order to fight the invasion.
Dreamcatcher - Stephen King adaptations range from the sublime to the ridiculous and this one does tend to lean towards the latter end of the scale unfortunately. The story is just too complex and lengthy to fit neatly into a movie (even if that movie is over two hours!). If it were made as a three or four episode TV mini-series that explored the story more deeply like "IT" or "The Stand" it would have fared much better. There are so many elements of horror, sci-fi and fantasy in this one movie that just as you get comfortable with the genre you are watching, it lurches into another. That said, it is undoubtedly entertaining and the individual elements are well made. The film looks great, particularly the snowy wilderness setting, and the special effects are bountiful, bloody and above average. The cast list is pretty impressive (Morgan Freeman, Jason Lee, Thomas Jane to name but three) and the acting is great all round, even down to the youngsters playing the lead characters in flashback.
It's worth a watch (if only for the grossly funny bathroom scenes) but expect to feel a little bewildered by the time you're done.
Director: Marty Weiss
Writer: Anthony Jaswinski
Released: 2008
Labels: Slasher|2000's
A group of young executives go on a team building weekend for some paint balling in the woods. They inadvertently stumble into a territory owned by a strange religious cult that protect their privacy at all costs.
"Backwoods" - It was a totally baffling experience watching this derivative pile of nonsense. Not only have the film-makers put together a poorly constructed collection of cliches and copied already tired ideas, they have managed to do so with such an incredible flair for getting it wrong that it goes so far beyond being a bad-but-funny movie that it induces frustration, and at times rage, at their ineptitude.
The movie starts with the obligatory early kill to introduce the slasher... oh dear, it's yet another inbred "family" with the obligatory "Leatherface-a-like" hulking son. Then we meet our "heroes" and ALL these young execs are such hateful characters with no redeeming features that you can't wait for the killing to start, but you're gonna have to, because first we have about 30 minutes of these idiots readying themselves for the paint-balling and camping, including a stop at a store/bar run by a hillbilly type and frequented by a couple of bikers that were supposed to be mean and scary (for no apparent reason) but just looked like a couple of perfumed wrestlers.
There is the introduction of a relationship back-story with a couple of the characters but you won't care, and neither did the writers it seems because it remains totally ignored from that point on. Then we have some camping and swimming to watch. Then the paint-ball "action" starts, one of the teams is given bright blue camouflage fatigues to wear.....IN THE WOODS!!! (the term "woods" is used lightly, it looks more like a recreational park with well maintained pathways used for hiking or perhaps bicycling).
A deserted farmhouse is discovered (yawn) it's not particularly creepy or scary but someone still says "what is this place?" as if they were looking at a funfair made from animal parts and Lego, (this reaction is to remind the viewer that it's supposed to be a scary movie). Finally the crazy killer family arrive and do a bit of killing and kidnapping to paintball Team A (oddly it's the team in the green camo that gets their attention first). Team B (the more annoying of the two teams) hear the screams, grab their trusty paint guns (yup) and run to help. This is where the film stops being a bad slasher-family-in-the-woods movie and becomes plain incomprehensible.
The "family" are in fact religious cult / hillbilly / underground dwelling / drug manufacturing / inbred mutants living on ex-military land, who think intruders are agents from the government. Not only that but they want the girls to breed with (dunno why). The film sets itself up like a torture pic for a while with team-whatever put in cages but nothing much comes of that either, in fact the most brutal thing that goes on down there is a killing that involves a jailer confiscating a captives inhaler during an asthma attack so he suffocates (barbaric!).
There really is no gore or horror to speak of. The heroes' escape is lengthy and dull and most of the time they seem to get no further than just behind the tree outside the front door. All the (dull) deaths that follow are either down to the idiot's own stupidity or are ridiculous acts of selfless blaze-of-glory heroic bullsh**. There is nothing new or exciting here at all. Rent one of the related picks shown at the bottom of this page and avoid this movie at all costs.
Backwoods tagline is "Nature has a Dark Side"..... yeah? well so do my butt cheeks but at least I have the decency not to call them entertainment and show them to the general public.
